A Comedy

A juvenile, yet amusing little comedy that I have indulged in many times over the years goes as follows:

Scene:  2nd period class.

Me:  This class is so intelligent!  You people really are very superior.  I really love this class so much.  In fact, it is my favorite class of the day, maybe my favorite class ever.   Such a contrast to my 6th period class.  Those guys are a little, well, how shall I put it... um, well, let's say they're missing something.  Just not up to my rigorous standards.  But, pleeeeease.  Don't tell them I said this.  They get discouraged easily.  I have to treat them with kid gloves.

Class:  Every face beams with delight.

Act II: 

Setting:  6th Period class.

Me:  This class is so intelligent!  You people really are very superior.  I really love this class so much.  In fact, it is my favorite class of the day, maybe my favorite class ever.   Such a contrast to my 2nd period class.  Those guys are a little, well, how shall I put it... um, well, let's say they're missing something.  Just not up to my rigorous standards.  But, pleeeeease.  Don't tell them I said this.  They get discouraged easily.  I have to treat them with kid gloves. 

Class:  Every face, but one, beams with delight

Kid in back:  Hey, that's what you told the 2nd period class!  You told them we were stupid! 

Me:  That is ridiculous.  First of all, I would never make such a disparaging remark about my students.  But, I did tell them I liked them better than you guys.  But it was a white lie.  I actually like you people much much better.  That class is really sort of a grind for me.  This class has a certain joie de vivre that is irresistable.  Can't you just feel the love?  This class is my favorite.  Discussion over.  But, please.  Don't say anything to 2nd period. They're very sensitive.

Act III:

Setting:  2nd Period class.

Class: (in tones of outrage)  You lied to us!  You told the 6th period class that you loved them more than us.  You better explain yourself very quickly or we're going to be very upset with you.

Me:  It's true.  I told them that. But I had to.  One of you little squealing tattle-tales had to go and tell them that I said you were my favorite.  They were justifiably annoyed.  I had to cover up.  So I told them that I really loved them more but I had told you guys that so you wouldn't feel bad about being so pathetic.  In reality, it is they who are the pathetic ones.  This class is truly exceptional.  Can't you just feel the love?

Class:  (Scratching their heads).

Act IV:

Setting: 6th period class

Class:  You are the lowest form of life on earth!  How can you stab us in the back like this?  You hate us and you love them?  You have exactly 10 seconds to explain yourself before we begin ripping your worthless carcass into little pieces. 

Me.  Now now, my little cabbages, how can you have such little faith in me?  One of you little rascals had to go and compare notes with the earlier class.  Their feelings were hurt.  I had to cover up.  But, remember!  This is my very favorite class of all!

Class:  But, you said the same thing to them.  How can we tell who you're lying to and to whom you are telling the truth? 

Me:  Easy.  I am lying to them.  I am telling you the truth.  Surely you believe me. 

Class:  How can we tell, though?  Maybe you're lying to us.

Me. You have to trust your intuition.  Look around the class.  Look at all the wonderful people in this class. Now, how can I not love you best of all?  It is not possible.  Is it?  Look around and tell me?

Class:  (looking around the room, nodding their heads.  A look of smug satisfaction comes over each and every face."

Me:  Now let's not have any more of this nonsense.  I have a class to teach.

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You might be interested, dear readers, to know that I never participate in that little game if I do actually have a preference, which, by the way, is exceedingly rare. All the classes are lovable in their own way.  And since I enjoy the experience of being with a class immensely, the fact is that the one that's in front of me is always my favorite.  I guess that doesn't say much for my loyalty, but one loves a group  in a different way than one loves an individual..  Thus, all my declarations of undying devotion were true at the moment I uttered them.  And let me say right now that you are my very favorite reader of this blog.  I love you!  Mwah.